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Patience is the companion of wisdom.
- Saint Augustine

Monday, September 30, 2002

So I haven't blogged in a while. Fuck off, piss off, then bite me. I've been having a real tough time dealing with all of the emotions going on in my fucked up head, so get over yourself.

WARNING: What you are about to read may be depressing. If you cry easily, or have a weak heart, get the fuck off this ride.

I pretty much had a mental breakdown this past weekend. There has been a lot of shit going on, especially with all of my trust issues with the hubby (and the fact that he's been gone for a month now and if I don't get some goddam sex SOON, I'm going to explode). So I have that heartache going on, since you have no fucking idea how much I truly love this man. Anyway, then I made the mistake on Saturday to call my parents. Little background info for ya: My father has a myriad of health problems, starting with blood pressure and up. He had a triple bypass a few years ago. And, my dad has leukemia. He's been battling it for years, but this year has been the worse.

Anyway, three weeks ago, I had gotten a call from my mother telling me that my dumb ass dad broke his back. No, don't worry, not the whole back, just one vertebrae. Like my mother doesn't have enough to worry about with my father. Oh, did I mention that I am very, very close with my mother? Hurt her, and I will kill you myself. (my father is skating on very thin ice where this is concerned.) And she's a very strong person outwardly, but without him would crumble to the ground like a house of cards. I will NOT see that happen to her. Well, if I can help it. So anyway, I call them. My mother puts my father on the phone. I wish I had recorded it so you could hear it. He just sounded like he was ready to give up on life. He needs desperately to retire from his job (he owns his own business, and has for the past 30-odd years) because it is literally killing him, but he just refuses to do so. None of us kids want the business (for various reasons) and he has no one to leave it to. He thinks he's going to spend his time watching t.v. reruns all day and it would make him crazy. "What, you can't find a fucking hobby Dad?" No. Work is his hobby. I really don't see him lasting more than a year on his present course. And that is just ripping my already broken heart into pieces small enough to pass through the eye of a needle.

When will it end?

// posted by Jenna @ 6:10 PM

Thursday, September 19, 2002

Thought for the day: If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?

// posted by Jenna @ 6:07 AM

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

And for those who really need to know, the hubby is doing fine. Hasn't had a day off since getting to Puerto Rico, but he'll be fine. Just makes him appreciate his shitty shop here all the more. And I'm doing surprisingly better than I normally do when he's gone. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that some really great things have happened since he's gone (see post regarding Mike and Todd). Don't tell him, but part of me is really happy that he left.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:37 AM

Yeah, it's been a few days. You haven't missed much. School sucks, just for the record. I'll be happy when this class is over and I can stop writing all these damn papers!! Next two classes are math, thank Isis. Other than that, there hasn't been much going on here. I actually got some boxes unpacked, holy shit! Looks like I may get this place in order before the hubby comes back after all!

Why do companies insist on having monthly meetings about crap that I already know? I have one today that I'm planning on skipping. I'd just as soon they cancel the damn things all together, but they won't. And today, they are going to have Ms. September. No, not a beauty queen. The bitch's name is actually September. She's one of those perky people. The kind you want to strangle with your bare hands. I just can't take that woman at 9:00am. There isn't enough coffee in my house!

// posted by Jenna @ 6:32 AM

Thought for the day: I love my country. It's my government I fear.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:27 AM

Thursday, September 12, 2002

For the record, I don't have a lot of real sex dreams. On a rare occasion, I'll have one about my hubby or Sean Connery. And that's it. But for some fucked up reason, William L. Peterson (aka Gil Grissom) has invaded my dreams. Okay, he's a good looking guy. And I like watching CSI, it's a great show. But what the fuck gives here?? I'm like a cat in heat in my dreams! I just can't seem to get enough of this...of this guy!!!

And no, Thomas, it isn't because I'm not getting any right now.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:44 PM

Thought for the day: People are more passionately opposed to wearing fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than bikers.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:36 PM

Monday, September 09, 2002

Not too shabby a weekend. Bowling went fairly well, which isn't entirely good since we were establishing averages for the season. Shit. Ended up with a 149 average. I can't keep that shit up!! Saturday wasn't half bad either. Ended up bowling a few games, that were absolutely crappy (should've saved those for Sunday). Spent a little time doing some homework, and then spent the majority of my evening with Mike and Todd, watching a D&D game. I know that may not sound too exciting to some people, but I wanted to check out their game before deciding to join. Pretty good group overall. The DM was good, so that makes all the difference.

Little side note here. I mentioned previously about Mike and Todd. What great guys. Last I mentioned them, I talked about a nice sharing weekend. Well, that has really spawned into a budding friendships with them both. And I have to say that I'm a better person for it. The only down side, and it's not really a down side per se, is that I know too much sometimes of things. Those who know, know what I mean. Not that I'm not happy that I know both sides of a story, but sometimes it can be a bit, I don't know, weird? That'll take some explaining to the right people. They know who they are. But I love them all. Like sisters. Sorry, brothers. (like I didn't have enough of those already.)

Somehow I feel like I've explained that last bit poorly.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:26 AM

Thought for the day: A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:19 AM

Friday, September 06, 2002

I am so looking forward to this weekend. Finally, a weekend where I can do basically whatever the hell I feel like. I do have bowling on Sunday, but that's no biggie really. And Saturday, there is a kinda-meeting, but I don't have to go if I don't feel like it. I love weekends like this. Of course, this means I really need to get my frickin' ass in gear and do some work around the house. I really would like to get my office area done, just so I would be a little bit more organized for school.

Speaking of school, my class started this past Thursday. It's just a basic writing class, so it should be fairly simple. Just a lot of papers to write. But I have gotten fairly good at bullshitting my way through them.

// posted by Jenna @ 2:14 PM

Thought for the day: I give 100% at work; 12% on Monday - 23% on Tuesday - 40% on Wednesday - 20% on Thursday - 5% on Fridays.

// posted by Jenna @ 2:10 PM

Thursday, September 05, 2002

Haven't I mentioned my dumb ass sister-in-law?? She called tonight, not knowing of course that the hubby is away. She had some news. She's pregnant. I can't even begin to tell you how much I want to kill the bitch now. For starters, she is no longer married. The boyfriend she moved to Arizona with has left her. He wants nothing to do with the kid or her. She's homeless. She's jobless. She is actually considering keeping the kid. She's four months along now (and just *now* telling family, don't get me really rolling on that one), so abortion is pretty much out. She's moving back to California this weekend to live with an aunt, because her parents won't let her move back in with them.

And she had the fucking gaul to wonder how it happened. I see a new client in the making for me.

// posted by Jenna @ 9:55 PM

Well, I ordered the DSL from Verizon and also had to order the Ethernet card too. I've never installed anything like that into my computer before, but I'm more mechanically inclined than most women.

Speaking of women, why do some lesbians insist on spelling that word "womyn"? I've heard it is to take the "men" out of women but puh-lease. Doesn't anyone else see this as ridiculous and petty???

// posted by Jenna @ 6:54 AM

Thought for the day: A cat will almost always blink when hit in the head with a hammer.

Disclaimer: All you animal lovers, don't email me about this one. I have two cats of my own. It's just a fucking joke. Get over yourselves.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:42 AM

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

Thought for the day: It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.

That one's for Thomas. *smirk*

// posted by Jenna @ 7:57 AM

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

Haven't I mentioned before how much I LOATHE Cox Communications?? I'm trying to get a cable modem, for various reasons, and they have fucked up my order yet again. I'm seriously considering dumping the whole idea and going with DSL and Verizon. SHIT!

// posted by Jenna @ 9:16 PM

Well, things aren't too bad without the hubby here. So far, that is. It's been a little depressing, but I'm managing. I have been able to talk to him most every day, so that helps. That, and I've been keeping so busy, I haven't really had the time to really dwell on it. I have a class starting up this week too, so that will also help. I just hope that this lasts for the next 7 weeks.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:21 AM

Yeah, I know. I haven't posted all frickin' weekend. I haven't even turned my computer on all frickin' weekend. Who the hell had time?? The SASSI tournament was this past weekend. I helped out a bit (I was one of the ticket bitches for the weekend) and a good time was had by all. I think it went really well, despite the little mistakes that ended up being made. I also got the chance to spend more time with Michael and Todd and Bob, which was nice. Learned more about them this past weekend than I knew in my previous few months with them. It was a sharing weekend! :)

// posted by Jenna @ 6:13 AM

Thought for the day: Chaos, panic, & disorder--my work here is done.

// posted by Jenna @ 6:06 AM